It’s been a hot second since I shared that my body decided it was time to shift into menopause mode (pun totally intended). Now that I’ve had a few months of this hormonal ride under my belt, I thought it was time to share a bit more of my journey into perimenopause with you.
The first obvious signs of menopause (or perimenopause) showed up last year, at 46, like an unexpected (and unwanted) guest. Why, hello perimenopause… I wasn’t expecting you… but ummm… come on in? It first came in the form of hot flashes that felt like my body turned into an oven without warning, 10-12 times a day (or night). As someone who has been cold all her life, let me tell you this was quite the feeling. I was asking for warm, not inferno, thanks though.
All jokes aside, I have a choice. I can embrace these changes and do everything I can to make this phase a good one, or I can get grumpy about it. I’ll take the first one: after all, this is where I am, I can’t change it but I can make the best of it.
What is Perimenopause?
Nobody talked with me about this stage of life – which is why I want to be open with YOU! Perimenopause (meaning “around menopause”) is the phase leading up to menopause when the body starts to make the natural transition for the end of the reproductive years. The timing varies from person-to-person, but typically occurs between the ages of 40-50. Menopause begins after one year of no menstrual cycle. If you’re looking for an in-depth explanation of what happens in the body during this time, this Mayo Clinic article was helpful for me.
Signs of Perimenopause
How can you tell that you’re in perimenopause? Like I said, my first sign of perimenopause was the hot flashes and irregular menstrual cycle, but I also feel like I sprouted horns to be honest. My patience has been paper-thin, and with my oldest son going through puberty at the same time, let me tell you, they could make a TV show out of this stuff.
Here are some typical signs of perimenopause (not exhaustive):
- Hot flashes “it’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes”… name the song.
- Irregular menstrual cycle.
- Mood changes and irritability (I didn’t look this up but I also didn’t have to).
- Sleep disruption: so many women I talk to lately are struggling with this! WE NEED SLEEP! I have struggled with this for decades, long before I entered this new phase of life.
- Incontinence and vaginal changes: loss or thinning of tissue in this area can have a trickle effect that impacts many areas of our life… if you know what I mean.
My Experience with Hormonal Replacement Therapy (HRT)
First things first: my health journey is not yours! It is incredibly important for you to know that this is my experience only, and I am writing to share this from a personal lens. None of the information I am sharing here (or anywhere else to be frank), replaces healthcare advice that you should get from your doctor or other healthcare professional. Whew, had to get that off my chest.
Now, patience isn’t my strongest virtue, so after a week of not being able to sleep and throwing off my clothes in the middle of the day I marched myself into my doctor’s office to chat about hormone replacement therapy (HRT).
What is Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT)?
Hormone replacement therapy is a medication that contains female hormones: it is prescribed to replace estrogen that your body stops making during menopause, and if you still have your uterus, it is usually prescribed with progesterone or progestin to decrease the risk of cancer vs estrogen taken alone.
HRT is most often used to treat common menopausal symptoms, including hot flashes and vaginal discomfort, but may also prevent bone loss and reduce fractures in postmenopausal women.
What I Take for Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT)
There are benefits to HRT and risks which should be discussed with your healthcare provider of course and tailored specifically to you should you choose to go this route. I can only share my personal (study of one) experience.
For about 3 months, I have been taking a gel estrogen that I apply once a day to my skin after I shower and progesterone at night. Hot flashes are gone and I am sleeping (mostly) like a baby. On the flip side, I have gained a couple of pounds and am more irritable lol. Again, this is only my journey my friends.
My Thoughts on This Stage of Life
We go through a lot as women, and what we often lack is self-compassion and grace for ourselves. Taking care of others comes naturally to most of us, but taking care of YOU has to be on your priority list. With age, I have (finally) accepted who I am and on most days, try to treat myself like I would treat my best friend.
I hope this finds you well, and inspires you to put yourself at the top of your to-do list today, and all the days following. If there is anything else you want me to share on this topic let me know in the comments of course!
xo Tori
Thank you so much for taking the time to share your personal journey with such a “quiet” topic! I am 45, and although not experiencing any signs or symptoms yet, have been researching and getting prepared!! Knowledge is always power! I am wondering how long to anticipate being on HRT for? Once you stop, do you get hit with all the symptoms again?
Hi Darcie! I’m really not sure to be honest… will keep you posted!I think the symptoms come back when you stop but good to ask your doctor!
Thank you so much for sharing your peri story and for being open about HRT. It is such a powerful change in our bodies. Much appreciated!
My pleasure Leah!
Hi Tori! It is definitely a BIG change in life. I didn’t notice the perimenopause too much (other than the change in my menstrual cycle which felt like I was hemorrhaging most months). I actually went through menopause when I was 54 and most of my hot flashes were at night, but the thinning of the skin was the worst symptom for me (if you know what I mean). I decided to try HRT, the bioidentical one where they measured my hormones and created a cream for me according to what I was lacking. It worked really well, but then my GP would tell me every time I saw her that I should really think about trying something else as it increased my risk for cancer. That frightened me so I only did the HRT for 1 year and then went to the Vagifem inserts. They work well, too, but not for the hot flashes, etc. Not fair what we have to go through as women. 🙁 I wish you well on your journey!
Hi Mary! Thanks so much for sharing your journey that is so helpful – for so many! Warmest wishes, Tori
Hi Tori,
As someone who has been menopausal for over a year now and suffered from peri-menopause for 8 years, I commend you for sharing your story. I had additional symptom that really affected my reproductive health and my skin. A difficult time especially as the stress in my life was higher, as I decided to start a farm and business. I think this exasperated my symptoms.
As you said, although there are common symptoms, the approach can be very unique and I wish I had focussed on my health more. I since have been working with a functional medicine practitioner which has helped with the menopausal symptoms.
Thank you again for being vulnerable and sharing. My wish for you to have a quick, smooth and healthy transition into menopause.
Hi Tori. I was so excited to see your blog post. Thank you for sharing. I am a pelvic health physiotherapist and just did a workshop yesterday about perimenopause and menopause. It’s so important that woman start talking about this. Wishing you all the best.
Hi Madeleen! My pleasure! Such an important topic!
Hi Tori, I went through menopause when I was 45. At the time there was scarce information. I had a wonderful doctor and went on HRT. I am now 73 and still on HRT. I am aware this is a very controversial subject but because of my excellent health I have the support of my GP. I have been proactive in reading as much as I can but frankly have found very little about women on HRT for any length of time. Good luck on your journey; it is a very personal one.
I’m on HRT now and it’s helping. I like that it’s protective of bine, brain and heart health also.
Perimenopause is ignored or told we just have to deal with it. And the WHI (Women’s Health Initiative) just scared a generation of women off HRT. Us, this next generation are still scared as are our doctors fir no reason as the false findings of the WHI have been proven false time and again. Thank you for using your platform to share.
I recommend people ready books by or follow on social media Dr Mary Claire Haver, Estrogen Matters, Jen Gunter as a start.
Thank you Tracy! Wishing you all the best on your journey. I will look into that book! xo Tori
When this started for me the hot flashes were so uncomfortable I thought “how could anyone live with this? I cannot live like this!!!” Got a prescription for estrogen patches and as soon as I put one on, I never got another hot flash. Thank God for modern medicine!
Wow! So happy for you Amy! It is incredible the things us women go through. xo Tori
Hi Tori,
I think I have had perimenopause for years, well the irritability anyways! Lack of sleep… well I’m a night shift worker too so I don’t sleep well or solid for any period in my life. Recently just about a month before turning 52 I noticed after my period I started having spotting everyday, thinking maybe my menopause was starting, well nope! I have daily spotting, and still getting my regular periods on top of that. I also started to have the urine incontinence the last few months which is honestly the worst! Speaking to my GP he said this is all normal parts of perimenopause and if I made it to 52 without symptoms I’m pretty lucky🤬🤬. All I know is this is the worst part, wearing pads 24/7, peeing myself when I sleep, going to work and feeling pee dribbling out, standing up, sitting down etc….i hope this ends once my hormones balance out! I’m too young for this, my mind is still 27, my body… well 70! Anyways, no one ever talks about the spotting or incontinence issues, I never knew about this part of perimenopause!
Thank you for sharing. We as women don’t talk about this enough so we know what to expect. Also, that we can and should talk to our doctors about what choices we have. Thank you for your presence and for sharing your journey. XO
Hi Nancy! Thank you so much for your lovely note. I owe a lot to my community of women like you, who reached out to me when I started posting about my journey. It helped me open up knowing I was far from alone! Wishing you all the best. xx Tori
I started menopause at 48. I too had to go on HRT due to severe hot flashes, I am now 61 and still have hot flashes even though I am on HRT but they are not as severe! I remember my mother going through the night sweats as well and waking up drenched and she would have to change her pyjamas!! She then got uterus cancer at 70 and died. I am trying to get a hysterectomy so I can avoid that fate!!
Girl.. I’ve been experiencing this for a bit now and it sucks. I was unexpectedly pushed into menopause after a uterine cancer diagnosis and HRT was not an option. It’s been 8 years and I still have the occasional hot flashes and man oh man. Thanks for sharing your experience. 💕
Hi Denise, sending you lots of love over there. Thank you for sharing your experience as well. This journey really surprised me, and I am just happy to be able to connect with you and other women, and talk about it! 💗
Hi Tori!
I absolutely LOVE that you are using your platform to bring awareness to this stage of a woman’s life!!!! 🙌
I’m currently training to be a Menopause Doula (yes, that’s a thing!!) and I’ve been learning so many things that I should be doing in my premenopause years to prep for a healthy menopause transition that I had no idea about!
Women need to have more education/information about this important stage in our lives as well as feel the openness to share our stories ❤️
I’m so glad when I see other women using their platforms to share their stories-it’s so powerful! Thank you!!
Hi Tiera! A Menopause Doula, how interesting!
I totally agree, we need to be open about these types of things. We’re all in this together. Thank you so much for being part of this community! xx Tori
My symptoms were very heavy periods (super + every hour) and more frequently. I had to carry extra clothes as I would flood through my underwear & pants. This lasted about a year. No hot flashes, no mood swings. I have gained a bit of weight in my midsection. It all ended around 50 and I’ve been on the other side for a few years now. I feel great.
Hi Leah,
Thank you for sharing your journey I really appreciate it and others will too. Glad you feel great now!
Tori